Take Me Slowly (Forever in Their Thrall Book 1) Read online

  But Father Joshua said the world was getting more wicked every day. Magic was dying and we had to be faithful if we didn't want to lose it entirely. Even our very own magical councils could no longer be trusted.

  "Do you know what the headline is on the mundane's paper today?" Father Joshua roared at us.

  A week later, another Sunday, and we were listening to another sermon.

  It was the first day anyone had seen Dylan since the last week. He'd just gotten out of the ward to attend the sermon. He looked sickly, like he'd lost ten pounds, and didn't say a word. His little brother, twelve-year-old Adam, tried to offer him a hand when he stumbled on the steps coming in, and Dylan pushed him away as other boys laughed. From this day forward, he had to prove he wasn't a weak, weeping sinner. His expression was hard. I wondered if I would ever again see him sitting under the maple tree on the hill, sketching the villagers and the birds.

  I said a silent prayer that no one would be purified today.

  "'The world is burning'," Father Joshua said, holding up a paper. "There are wildfires and heat waves sweeping the world. The end times are coming, because the people have lost their faith in magic.”

  The newspaper headlines made me tremble a little. Maybe it's true. If even the humans know the world is ending…?

  "We need to be prepared for the renewal," Father Joshua said. "Every human on this earth is going to die, and most of the witches and warlocks are going to go with them. That includes many members of the witch and warlock councils. Yes, I know," he said, at the soft gasps that filled the room. "They are fine men and women, most of them—some of them. At least, they were. But they are also filling their own pockets with glory, and as we know from our teachings, only the humble are pure enough to survive the shadows. Would you call the councilmen and women humble?" He laughed a little, and the congregation laughed with him.

  Twice a year, the council paid us a visit.

  They were very interested in the purification techniques developed by the Order, so for years, they had supported our mission.

  But they wouldn't join us. They still maintained some wicked beliefs. Many lived among the mundanes, and most of them had some electricity in their homes even though it was poison to magic. They followed other religions instead of the one way of the Ethereals. Father Joshua also said that women had too much power in the home and threw everything out of balance. He said the whole reason the world was corrupt was because women had tried to usurp their role.

  I tried to believe him, but I struggled with it and so did Mom. Even Dad struggled because he wasn't naturally a 'lord and master' kind of man. And he loved Carrie and me so much.

  Our world was changing, though. The end of the world was coming and Father Joshua was purifying anyone who didn't obey the rules. The council, meanwhile, had been asking more questions. We had to be careful when they visited.

  "So, I hear they are sending Councilwoman Garcia," Father Joshua said. He said her name like she was a demon. "She will try to ask questions about life here in the order, and the reason why she is asking is because she wants to tear you from your holy path. She is a wicked woman and she knows that she can never walk the path of light, so she will do her best to tear you away from yours. Your purity is offensive to her. You must stay out of her way unless you are instructed by the Ethereal spirits to be our representative. I am going to summon the Ethereals tomorrow. I will be in ritual all day with the priestesses and not to be bothered. I will ask the Ethereals how to respond to the questions of the Garcia woman, and you must follow their words.”

  I perked up a little. This sounded almost like putting on a play. And I would get a script from the Ethereal spirits themselves.

  If I was being perfectly honest, I really wanted to see what a wicked woman looked like.

  Oh, please choose me, I prayed. I love play acting. And, I added, as I remembered that plays were impure, I'll be very good at answering the questions and showing the council how pure I am.

  Father Joshua caught my eye and gave me a tiny smile when he saw my excitement. There was something in that smile that repulsed me. I didn't know why. Father Joshua was reasonably attractive, with high cheekbones and light brown eyes. He was very clean cut and his robes were always impeccable. He was almost forty but seemed closer to thirty, even considering that wizards usually lived to be a hundred.

  Few things excited me to participate in the Order. I usually just tried to keep my head down and not get into the sort of trouble that would get me purified. When I saw his smile, I blanched a little.

  I shouldn't have been eager. I didn't think he would notice me.

  But it's all right. The oldest of the priestesses is twenty-eight, and a husband will surely be chosen for me before she turns thirty.

  The next day, Father Joshua spent the entire day locked inside the Ethereal temple. This was a small building at the very center of our community where the witches and wizards who founded the Order had placed the religious icons they were leaving behind. There were crucifixes and Virgin Mary statues, Indian gods with blue skin and multiple arms, many different Buddhas, objects from Wiccan altars, the Koran and the Talmud, and many more symbols and statues and texts, all gathered on multiple tiers of shelves. When the Order was formed, the central tenet was that all gods came from the same root—Etherium. All gods were of Etherium, but you could not favor any one over another or call them by name.

  The founders of the Order cast aside all belief in one religion and lived in unity, worshiping the Ethereal spirits, joining together to prepare for the end of the world.

  Father Joshua had five priestesses that helped him prepare for his rituals. They were all young, beautiful women and they all must be virgins when they became priestesses. They were chosen at the age of sixteen. Once they reached the age of thirty, a new priestess was chosen to replace them, so every two years one girl in the village became a priestess.

  When the last priestess was chosen, I was seventeen. I lived in terror of being chosen.

  I don't know why. It was considered a great honor. But the girls spent so much time alone with Father Joshua. Sometimes they were locked in a room with him all day, and none of them were allowed to speak a word about the secret rituals.

  I just had a bad feeling about it.

  I guess it was because the girls changed after they became priestesses. They usually lost weight and didn't laugh much anymore. When a priestess finished her service she was never allowed to marry either, but once in a while a priestess had a child. Sometimes the Ethereal spirits impregnated the priestesses during the rituals and gave her a sacred child which was raised not by her, but by Father Joshua himself, and the favored Elderwives. A few of the priestesses died very young. I wondered, deep within my mind, if they had taken their own lives.

  I spent the week at home, as usual, helping Mom around the house. Carrie was in school, but I had just graduated high school. There was no talk of going to a witches' college. Father Joshua forbade that practice because none of the colleges were pure.

  Since Mom was so pregnant, I was glad to be home to help her. I made Carrie's breakfast and school lunch, then I did the laundry in the hand-cranked machine and put it through the wringer.

  "Should I help you?" Mom asked.

  "I've got it! I just want you to relax. It's bad enough that I can't stop you from making dinner.”

  "Well, what would the other ladies say if they heard I wasn't taking care of my husband?" She shook her head, relaxing into her rocking chair with a sigh, before picking up her knitting basket.

  I came in the house, exhausted from the laundry, wispy hairs flying out from beneath my cap, but determined not to show that I was tired. "Do you want sandwiches for lunch, Mom?”

  "I'd love a BLT.”

  "You've got it." I turned on the gas and started slicing the tomatoes. "Do you like mayo on yours?”

  "No, that's just your dad's thing. I'll take mustard. Only dijon.”

  "You're weird, Mom."


  She smiled. "I treasure this time with you, sweetie. Before you get married and leave us..." The smile faded away as soon as she said those words.

  A little chill went down me. "I'll still be right here," I said. "In the same town.”

  "Oh...I know...it's just not the same." After a moment she said, "It was different. Before you came along. I wish...you had known the world before.”

  "What do you mean?”

  "You know. We used to have more freedom. We used to listen to music in the town square on Friday nights and dance. Things like that. I'm not sure why...things changed...at that time.”

  “The Ethereals said we weren’t living virtuously, right?” I asked. It was troubling to hear one of my parents contradict the teachings in any small way.

  “Yes. That’s right. We must follow the teachings and the gods will provide.” She looked troubled, but that was normal for my parents lately.

  "Mom, it's okay. The pregnancy is just making you emotional. Just rest. The sandwiches will be done soon.”

  The bell in the town square started to ring. That meant we were all supposed to gather by the altar house for an announcement. I snapped off the burner with barely suppressed annoyance. I just wanted to make Mom a nice sandwich and let her get off her feet for a while. Sometimes these 'announcements' were really just additional sermons that went on for hours.

  I helped her to her feet. We found Dad in the crowd, and Carrie with her class.

  Father Joshua addressed the crowd, standing on the steps leading to the altar.

  "I spent all of yesterday in prayer to the Ethereals," he said. "I have heard an answer about the visit of Councilwoman Garcia. John Pine, you are chosen. Virginia Dewey, you are chosen..." He named off a few people and then I heard, "Alissa Johns, you are chosen.”

  Me?

  I would get to speak to the councilwoman?

  "Alissa!" Dad said, patting my shoulder.

  This was a great honor, to be trusted to be a representative of our community. I was so relieved. This meant that Father Joshua clearly had no idea I ever listened to music, read novels, or hung out with boys outside of school. He trusted me enough to give me this task, so I was safe.

  After the announcement, Father Joshua walked down from the stairs and motioned to my parents to wait.

  I felt I was suddenly the object of his attention and I recoiled. What if, in fact, he did know that I had failed the Order, and that was why he was putting me under this scrutiny?

  "Hello, Jacob." He shook my father's hand before his beady eyes shifted to me. "Alissa, this Friday I want you to meet me in the temple so I can tell you what the Ethereals have chosen for you to say.”

  Alone?

  No, the other people chosen will be there too. I don't know why I would think that.

  "Yes, sir," I said, lowering my eyes from his. I was not even supposed to make eye contact for more than one moment with the Elders, because I was only a girl child, and in school they told us that we were a corrupting influence on wise men like Father Joshua.

  I hated it when he looked at me. It felt like a weight on my soul. Like every inch of me was under his watchful eye, even my insides, and he didn't approve of anything he saw there.

  He was still looking at me, in the space of silence following my 'Yes, sir'. He didn't dismiss my family. His eyes lingered on me for too long.

  I could see his shoes, perfectly polished brown with broad squarish toes. They were hideous shoes, I felt. I hated the shape of them. Like he had big wide goblin feet, and the brown was the color of diarrhea, with a yellowish hue under the medium brown.

  I knew I wasn't supposed to hate Father Joshua. I was supposed to respect every word that came out of his mouth.

  But no one told me I couldn't hate his shoes.

  "Thank you for choosing her," Mom said, and her voice sounded so meek. "It's a great honor to us, Father Joshua.”

  "Don't thank me. I'm only the messenger," he said, before adding, "Alissa is a special girl.”

  Finally, he walked away and I could breathe again.

  "Make sure not to upset him on Friday," Mom said softly.

  Chapter Three

  Alissa

  On Friday, I walked with great hesitation to the temple. I had to pass the school on my way, and I looked wistfully at the two-story brick building with black shutters, the girls' school. I didn't always love school, but I felt safe when I was there. It seemed like those days would never end, until suddenly I was graduating and looking toward marriage.

  I had been at Mom's side through her miscarriage. There were no telephones in our community at all. Mom was on the bathroom floor bleeding while Dad ran for the midwife, so I stayed with her and cast healing spells, but I was only twelve and panicked. My spells kept failing. I felt like I was just there so she wouldn't die alone if things went wrong.

  I remembered on that day she sobbed, "If you only had a wand…"

  In the rest of the wizard community, witches and warlocks found their wands around eighteen or nineteen, so even if I had lived out in the wicked world, I would have been too young for a wand back then.

  "Mom...I'm too young," I said.

  "You could have used mine...but it's gone…"

  That was the first hint I ever had that the witches in the Order used to carry wands. All I knew was that a man got to choose his wand when he married so he could protect his family. No one else was allowed to carry them. After she said it, she slumped onto the floor, and I screamed and pushed her shoulders up. I shook her gently. "Mom! Mom!”

  The floor was a pool of blood, my knees sticky with it.

  Dad and the midwife ran into the room and relieved me of my terrible post. I went, shakily, to the kitchen to try and clean up, because we only had one bathroom. I couldn't stop crying.

  Mom was in bed for days afterward and I never dared to ask her about her wand. Once she was better, she had to go to Father Joshua to confess her miscarriage.

  "But you didn't do anything wrong!" I cried. "You almost died!”

  "Alissa, I know it was upsetting for you, but I'm afraid I did do something wrong. I had some wicked thoughts during my pregnancy...just like the last one. If I can't stop having wicked thoughts, I won't be able to give you a little sister or brother. Father Joshua will tell me what to do.”

  Mom had to go meet him at the temple on that day, walking this same path.

  I don't want to get married, I thought. I would surely have a miscarriage too.

  Blood...everywhere... Six years had passed and I still felt nauseated at the memory of how it felt to have my knees sticky with my mother's blood. Mom had to walk to this building and speak to Father Joshua alone about something far worse than a council visit.

  I couldn't imagine 'confessing' a miscarriage to him.

  I was shaky with emotions I dared not name as I reached the temple. I had a sinking feeling, as I didn't see anyone else walking up to it at the same time. Maybe they were all early…

  I opened the door and felt the heavy silence in the room as I saw Father Joshua sitting in a tall wooden chair in front of the altar. There was a mat on the floor for me.

  "Shut the door behind you," he said.

  The room had no windows, but candles illuminated the space and incense burned, releasing a heady scent. I was almost afraid to breathe.

  “Sit,” he said, waving a hand toward the mat.

  I knelt on the mat. He was high above me; I was looking at his feet and those ugly shoes again.

  “Sister Alissa,” he said. “You are eighteen now.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Look at me, girl.” He said it gently, like he was granting me permission for something special.

  A smile crept onto his face. I only glanced up at him long enough to see the beginning of it and then I looked down again.

  “I know that you have had your struggles to be a good witch of our order. At times you have strayed from the path and been tempted by the wicked vices of the world. But I want yo
u to know that I see you trying, and I believe in you. I want you to know that. You are going to be one of the chosen when the end of the world comes.”

  I felt a little relieved and a little grateful, maybe even flattered. I didn’t like him, but maybe he was letting me know that I was not a bad witch even when I made a few mistakes. It was so important to my family that we stay in Father Joshua’s favor. Maybe everyone is tempted, I thought. Maybe even Father Joshua when he was young. It seemed a new revelation.

  “Thank you, sir. I am always trying to be a better witch.”

  “When Councilwoman Garcia comes, I need you to show her a good example of our order,” he said. “Remember, Sister Alissa, the council thinks they are the authority of the Ethereal magic world, but they are still only flawed humans and the power has corrupted them. It is more important to them to hold onto power than it is to save their people from corruption, and so, you must not trust anything they say. The reason they come to ‘check’ on us—“ He said this with a faint sneer— “is because we don’t follow their rules and we have developed our own spells like the purification ritual of which they begged for the secret. Do you understand this? Councilwoman Garcia might be very kind to you and ask you questions as if she is concerned, but that doesn’t mean you can trust her.”

  “I understand, sir,” I said.

  “If you say anything that you shouldn’t, you might bring grave trouble to you and your family.”

  My palms were sweating so hard. I hoped I didn’t make a mistake. I was so afraid of harming my family with some misstep. I didn’t trust my own mouth. “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. I trust that you will.” I felt his eyes searing through the top of my head as he looked down on me. “I want you to tell her how happy you are and how much you love your family. I want you to try and show her with your words—and I know you are a clever girl, Alissa—that we are all a family here, and that I take good care of my people, and you trust your elders. You do, don’t you, Alissa?”