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  “To take from someone else,” Montague said. “To become stronger. Some Sinistrals aren’t evil, but all of them are a little ruthless. Alec is right. But…maybe your mom could be saved.”

  Firian shot Montague a look. “Don’t give her false hope,” he snapped. “You know how rare it is for a Sinistral to return to Etherium. Once that gate is shut, that’s it.”

  “Usually,” Montague said.

  “But there’s a chance?” I asked.

  “No,” Firian said. “It’s not worth thinking about.”

  “It isn’t? But it’s my mom!”

  “You’ll drive yourself to Sinistral if you start trying to pursue a quest like that,” Firian said. “Trust me, Charlotte. Please.”

  “I want to summon her,” I said.

  “I’m not sure you should do that either,” Alec said. “I wouldn’t summon my mother.”

  “But my mom still loves me!” She must, I thought. She was trying to protect me from Royce and Ronan. It made sense now. “She’s watching over me. And I owe it to her to try. Harris wants me to summon a demon? Well, I’m summoning one that I know will come.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  Charlotte

  Returning to school, I had some quiet time to get centered. I felt so much better having seen my family. I had some time for extra magical study with Firian and daily yoga.

  Then Harris came back.

  I saw him appear in Lancelot House’s common room in the morning. I had already eaten the grapes that he preferred. But I knew I needed to thank him. It was all thanks to him that I got to see my dad and grandma for Christmas. Is it true? Does he like me?

  It made me a little nervous, but I didn’t want to show that. I was going to treat this like ripping off a bandaid. I stalked over to him. “Harris, I just want to—“

  He cut me off. “Those guys had nothing else to do, that’s all. They work at our winter home, but we weren’t there because it’s being renovated. I just didn’t want our employees to get stir-crazy, so don’t get your knickers in a twist or anything.”

  “You did not just accuse me of getting my knickers in a twist when I’m trying to thank you.”

  He looked down at me with his chilly blue eyes. “I’m just letting you know that thanks are unnecessary. I guess if you want to owe me one, that’s all right, but I think you already do owe me one.”

  “You are—the most—jerk—arrogant— I don’t owe you anything. You’re the one who keeps deciding to help me. I never asked for it.”

  He shrugged. “Well, there isn’t much you can do for me anyway.”

  Montague dropped his hands on my shoulder. “You probably shouldn’t goad her, Harris. She is as much werewolf as she is witch. We learned a lot about our Charlotte while you were gone. Her dad and grandma were a picture of hospitality.”

  I saw Harris’ nostrils flare ever so slightly before he calmly stirred his coffee. “You went with her?”

  “The more protection, the better, right?”

  “I guess.” Harris put down his coffee half-finished. “I’d better go. I have a lot to do this morning.”

  Montague turned me around to face him. The guys had developed an increased level of physical contact with me over the holiday break, I’d noticed. Montague, Alec, and Firian when he was around—all three of them were more likely to tuck my hair behind my ears, adjust my collar, put a hand on my shoulder, and little things like that. Somehow we had gotten comfortable. Well, they had gotten comfortable, I guess, and I hadn’t stopped them.

  “I never knew what he looked like when he actually cares,” Montague said. “Now we know. He’s even more incorrigible.”

  “He doesn’t really care about me. He just likes getting a rise out of me,” I said.

  “That might be the same thing,” Montague said. “But I don’t need any more competition. I’m glad that one can’t touch you.” He nodded at Alec who had just wandered downstairs and poured himself a cup. “What class did you have first? I’ll walk you.”

  Hmm. Montague was getting a little more possessive now that Harris was back.

  I wasn’t sure where all of us stood. The guys had been avoiding the subject too. I wondered if Alec had told Montague about any of the dreams. I was pretty sure he hadn’t told him my confession about Firian. And Firian was staying away during class hours nowadays, but when we were alone he definitely treated me like I was his. We already had such a bond that it happened naturally. I wondered what Montague would say if I told him about Firian.

  Alec was looking at me as I talked to Montague. He was, specifically, looking at Montague’s hand, which had moved casually to my waist.

  I’m in the race. I want you.

  My body tingled all over, remembering.

  At the same time, this was moving too fast. I couldn’t lead them all on, letting them kiss and flirt without agreeing to be their girlfriend because I liked them all equally. Plus I had a demon mom to summon. A “Demomma”, if you will, which was a monster in Lorna Caves in Fortune’s Favor that looks like a bat-winged woman with tiny bats around her that attack you.

  “If you want to wait for Alec, fine,” Montague said in my ear. “But I’m not going to be very easy to get rid of.”

  “I think we all need to talk,” I said. “At least, I need to talk to you and Alec.”

  Montague gave me a long-suffering sigh and smoothed back his thick dark hair, which was clearly just washed and a little wet at the tips. “Fine. Talk. But—you are a quarter wolf. We’ll see how long talk can last.”

  I dragged Alec out the door. “We’re going to take the long way around campus to class,” I said, turning left. “Because—well—since the ball and especially since Christmas—“ I twisted my shirt buttons. This wasn’t as easy to say as I thought. “What I mean to say is, I need to focus on my studies. I have some very big questions to grapple with, and no one’s telling me the answers, so I’m going to have to tackle that on my own, and I can’t get distracted.”

  “You can’t break up with us,” Montague said. “We’re not actually dating, are we?”

  “That’s right. We’re not dating and I’m not breaking up with you. I just need to focus. I want to be a powerful witch so I can’t dick around.”

  “Pun intended?” he asked.

  “Pun intended!”

  “I don’t like puns.”

  “Then you won’t miss me.” I crossed my arms. I felt like we were still flirting. Everything felt like flirting now. Damnit, how did you turn off the ‘flirt’ button?

  “Charlotte,” Alec said. “Whatever you plan to do to find these answers, you might need our help, and we’d be glad to offer it. Something strange is definitely going on.”

  “Yes. I’m starting to wonder how much I can trust Master Blair,” Montague said. “He’s been acting strange. Plus, what’s up with Stuart? Why does everyone think he’s so amazing? He danced with more of the young witches than we did, and they all asked him.”

  “Man, I’ve always wondered what is with that dude,” Alec said. “There are thousands of books in the library. Spells we could teach you. We could figure out this mystery with you. We can try to contact your grandparents…maybe some light spying in the professor’s offices…”

  Montague was nodding. “Harris might even get in on that.”

  I felt all fuzzy inside at the idea that they wanted to help me. But…I could also see how quickly this would turn into a mess.

  “The thing is, I—I think you know—I really like both of you.”

  “That’s all right,” Alec said.

  “No way. You’re saying this now, but I’m going to ruin your friendship. That’s how it always goes.”

  “Or…we could see how it goes.” Alec coughed. “Monty and I were talking, and…well. Vampires usually share their prey, because one human has more blood than one vampire needs, and since they all are drawn to their sire…”

  “What does vampire prey have to do with it?” I screeched.

 
; “Because vampires have sex with their food,” Monty said. “They don’t always kill the food either. And I’ve been—ah—having a few memories. Dim. Very dim. But I know that I probably won’t have a normal marriage with a normal witch like I expected. I might be a danger to her in the heat of the moment. But just to make it clear, I don’t plan on eating you.”

  “Meanwhile, incubi actually get more power from sharing,” Alec said. “The more the better, really. We’re not saying we’re at that point yet. We both want to court you like proper warlocks.”

  My cheeks must have been on fire while he was talking. “Uhuh,” I said.

  “But…if we entered into a relationship—“

  “We’ve been best friends since we were eight,” Montague said. “We’re already pretty comfortable with each other.”

  “We both want you,” Alec said. “I can protect you from Monty, and feed off his lust, so it’s a win-win for me, and then we don’t have to compete.”

  “So…you guys just figured…that would be…cool with me?”

  “It is nice to have options,” Montague said.

  “You said Harris likes me.”

  “Yes. He definitely does,” Alec said.

  “Well, what about him? Isn’t he your friend, too?”

  “He’ll be forced to grapple with it,” Montague said. “I am aware we might lose his friendship. Harris will never break away from the family expectations. He’s going to marry Daisy, no matter what he feels inside. But we can’t make our decisions based on Harris. His mother already told him to shun me since I became a vampire.”

  “No wonder he’s so much fun,” I said. “Well…the thing is…it’s—it’s not just the two of you.”

  I didn’t really want to talk to anyone else about Firian, because I didn’t know who I could trust. But when I told Alec, he didn’t even seem surprised. They already know, don’t they? “Montague, it’s also…Firian.”

  “Firian,” he repeated.

  “I know how forbidden it is…”

  “She already told me,” Alec said.

  “You told him,” Montague said.

  “Not that I was trying to keep things from anyone!” I said hastily. “It just spilled out. You didn’t already suspect?”

  “I did,” Montague said. “Of course. It’s just that hearing you say it…a familiar…”

  “The thing is, I would never have known it was taboo if everyone didn’t keep reminding me. I’ve been told the rules of the magical world but to me they seem arbitrary. Like if I was in love with a girl on another planet and then I came to Earth and found out there are places where it’s not okay to be gay. It doesn’t feel any different to be with Firian than it does—“

  “I understand,” Montague said. “Witches and familiars can be very close.”

  “To me, it’s not a big deal,” Alec said. “How many of these rules are ceremonial, or just there so the council can maintain power?”

  “It’s just that—I’m from St. Augustine. The site of the scandal. My parents would rather I become a vampire than if I had fallen in love with Rosa.” A dark look crossed his face.

  “Is Rosa your familiar?”

  “She was.”

  “Was? Oh—she’s—“

  “Monty,” Alec said. “You’ve never talked about her.”

  “And I don’t want to.”

  “But…maybe you should,” Alec said.

  “There’s nothing to say. She died when I was bitten. But she was a familiar, so she just vanished. Her body went to Etherium. Of course there was no goodbye. I’m sure someone probably buried her, but that world isn’t my business.”

  “Oh…no.”

  Montague’s mouth was set, betraying no sadness. His eyes had turned dark and distant, even a little cold. I was reminded again of what he was now. Not human. Something I didn’t entirely understand. I knew all the myths about vampires but I still didn’t really know how it changed a real person. How the bloodlust and immortality and memories of Lisbeth would affect him over time.

  Alec put a hand on Montague’s shoulder. “I loved Rosa when we were kids,” he said. “If you ever need to talk about her, just so you know…I understand. I’m glad you said something about her. It’s not your fault. You know that, right?”

  “Don’t be so nice, Alec. It was my fucking fault.” Montague took a deep breath. “Charlotte, if Firian makes you happy and you need him in your life, I’ll try to…accept that.”

  “Okay. Um. I have to admit that I hardly know what to do now because I didn’t expect you guys to be so cool about this. I thought you would fight over me.”

  “Sorry to disappoint you,” Montague said dryly. “I can’t promise we won’t ever fight over you in…smaller ways.”

  “If I wasn’t enchanted not to touch you I would definitely…want more of you. Sooner,” Alec said. “So if we do this thing long term, I hope there’s a lot of you to go around.”

  “Let me talk to Firian in private,” I said, flushing deeper.

  Montague lifted a hand. “Maybe we should all talk to him. He is your familiar, your first protector. Being protective of you is in the core of his being. If we are to court you, then we will also swear to your safety and happiness. I might not be entirely comfortable with the situation, but he’ll probably be even less so, if we can’t look him in the eye.”

  “Gah,” I said. I couldn’t imagine Firian was going to be thrilled with this. I felt like I had completely lost control of the situation, but at the same time, I was getting something better than I could have ever dreamed of.

  Firian’s going to mess this up, I thought. Alec and Montague are into me, but…Firian is…more than that.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Firian

  The magical realms are the world of fairy tales and fae, of enchantments and delusions. Occasionally, humans have fallen into it and come back with stories. That used to be more common, back before the blight of technology fell on the world. At least, that is how all magical beings know it, although I couldn’t complain considering how many hours I had spent with Charlotte having fun on a blighted machine.

  Still, I understood. The humans took the terrifying beauties of Etherium and safely replicated and contained them in games. It was pretty damn clever, actually.

  Etherium wasn’t quite the same for me, ever since, and I knew why. I’d spent too much time in the human world by now. It had tainted me. Now when I came home, I felt as out of place there as I did in the mundane world.

  Yep. That was my fate now. Caught between worlds, never belonging anywhere.

  In Etherium, geography worked differently. I lived in a cottage in the woods. When I was born and first went to Etherium, the cottage was there waiting for me. It already had curtains on the windows, an inkwell and paper at the desk, a quilt on the bed, and some root vegetables and apples in the cellar. It was like someone else lived there, but somehow I knew it was for me.

  There was a path outside of my cottage. The path led to different places at different times. If I wanted to buy new things for my house, it led to the village of Bluehill. If I wanted to visit another familiar, it led to other houses. Sometimes it led to a lake where I went fishing.

  The woods were also interesting. In my fox form, I could hunt and easily find game. There were rabbits to hunt, but there were also intelligent rabbits who talked. I had always known the difference and the talking rabbits didn’t even blink if they caught me with a game rabbit in my mouth. There were also sprites and other fair folk. Sometimes at night they would lure me into the darkness and want to play chase. The brownies would fix things in my house or make me presents. Etherium was a world of benevolent spirits, and the ones in my forest were mostly playful, although there were also very wise beings in Etherium that were as intimidating and even frightening as a demon. They wouldn’t hurt a fellow Ethereal, but they had intense power. But I hardly ever saw a High Ethereal, which one might call faeries, elves, or angels.

  As enchanting and pleas
ant as Etherium was, I was spending a lot of time there now, because I didn’t want Charlotte to get a bad reputation because of me.

  And I missed her.

  All the time.

  I yearned for her humor, her laugh, the light in her eyes, the way she hummed to herself when she was distracted. I missed playing games with her, teasing her, talking to her like I was a human too. I ached for the taste of her lips and the feel of her skin against mine. I wanted more and more. I waited for our magic lessons all day and avoided the other Ethereals—especially familiars.

  I knew what they’d see.

  A corrupted familiar. I had succumbed to the forbidden. They would blame her, of course, because familiars couldn’t even act without their witch. It was impossible for a familiar to want something their witch didn’t want. At least, that was what they said.

  Whenever I thought of kissing Charlotte, I felt starved for more. I kissed her first. Which meant that either I had my own independent desires, or she had wanted me to kiss her so badly that I had to do it.

  She didn’t even appreciate how impossible this was.

  It was better this way. I didn’t want to change our relationship. I wanted her to see me as human. As a man. Not a mysterious being from another world.

  But whenever I had to return to Etherium, it was a reminder that I wasn’t human. Etherium had never felt like home. Before Charlotte knew I existed, I spent most of my time in her woods. In the cabin. Watching over her. Catching her scent on the trails. Smelling her dad’s barbecue and waiting for him to put food out for me.

  God, I really am half-boyfriend, half-pet…

  “Firian!”

  Whenever I heard her call, I was there immediately. As happy as I was to see her, a part of me remained detached, even more so when I saw Montague and Alec there. The look in their eyes made me narrow mine. They smelled like they were eager for my girl, and I didn’t trust them.